A perspective from the father of a missionary
A Long-ago Prayer
When our son Mark was just a few weeks old my wife, Janis, and I invited a few friends over for a private baby dedication service in our home. During that informal get-together, I remembering praying that Mark would come to know Jesus as Savior – and then have a desire to know and do the will of God. Little did I know how dramatically God would answer that prayer.
A Call
While in college, Mark began serving as a Youth Ministry Intern at a wonderful church only 20 miles away. This eventually led to his being called to serve as Senior High Pastor at this church. He began dating a beautiful Christian girl named Parker who seemed to be a perfect match for him. They were married and both were involved in a very successful, innovative ministry among senior high students. The ministry grew to the point that around 150 students were attending Bible Study each Sunday – and many of these teenagers did more than just “come to church.” They actively shared their faith at school and brought unsaved youth to meetings at church. Mark and Parker worked perfectly as a team. He was the dreamer, leader, free-spirited innovator, and she provided incredible organization skills for every event. My wife and I were justifiably proud of the strong ministry Mark and Parker had – and they lived close enough that we could get together for a meal whenever they had an opening in their busy schedules.
I had been a full-time Minister of Music since college so it was especially rewarding to see Mark following in my footsteps, so to speak. Janis and I had always felt a special bond with Mark and our other son, Jonathan, and even though we didn’t get to be with him as often as we would have liked, it was still a comfort to know that he was only minutes away.
Mark always had the knack of dropping “bombshells” very casually. One night when he and Parker were having dinner with us, he said, “Guess what? Parker and I may be going to Africa.” Since they had been on two mission trips there, we assumed this would be another short-term project. However, when we said, “How long will you be gone on this trip?” Mark informed us that they were talking about becoming full-time missionaries. Seeing that the news was not so well-received, he told us that they were just in the beginning stages of the missionary application process, which could take a year or more – and that nothing was definite yet.
As Mark and Parker continued through the process, Janis and I were hoping (and selfishly praying) that God would help them to see that they were already serving as very effective missionaries to the youth culture – and that “if it was God’s will” (as it was our will) that something would come up to block the process.
Along the way we learned that Mark and Parker wanted to serve in a place where the gospel had never been shared. Mark dropped another “bombshell” one night by telling us that they would likely be in a village with little or no electricity or running water – but the good news was that it looked like they wouldn’t have a dirt floor! We had no idea that a dirt floor was even a possibility. We had reassured ourselves that we could stay in touch via the Internet – and now that thread of hope was gone.
Our resistance was getting stronger, and the more we learned, the more we realized that life, as we had known it, might never be the same. Every meeting and interview went smoothly, and all too soon the time came for Mark and Parker to go to Richmond for the final step in the appointment process.
After they arrived back in town on Saturday we arranged to meet them for lunch. As soon as they got out of the car, we knew immediately that all had gone well. They were glowing with excitement – but Janis and I didn’t share that excitement. As proud as we were of their willingness to sacrifice a comfortable life and ministry in the US, we almost felt hurt that they didn’t seem to have more regret about having to leave us and the rest of the family. And they were disappointed that we didn’t share their joy. Finally, my wife said, “We’re sorry that we can’t be excited right now – but you are going to have to give us time to get used to the idea.” During the conversation, Janis shared that we had never heard Mark express a desire to be a missionary – and asked him when he felt that call. Mark said, “I really can’t tell you a date or time – but even as a kid, I thought I would one day end up in Africa.” He told us that when he and Parker began to talk about marriage he told her, “You know, one day we may end up in Africa” – and Parker shared that she also felt called to missions service. We looked over the material they had brought us and found ourselves very reluctantly mumbling some words of support, and reminded them again that we needed more time to process everything.
Confirmation
On Sunday, the day after we had heard the news, one of the women in the Sunday School class my wife teaches brought some photographs of GA events from back in the 1980s that someone had given here for the Church Archives. Before putting them in the archives, the woman wanted to try to identify as many of the children in the photos as possible, so she began passing them around the tables. As the pictures were being passed, one of the class members said, “Look – here’s a picture of Mark!” When Janis saw it, she became emotional, because there was Mark, maybe eight or nine years old, bent over and looking very intently at a display the GA girls had made of an African village. The huts in the display were amazingly much like those Mark had shown us the day before of the village of Ayorou. Above the display were two small, hand-lettered posters – one with the Great Commission on it and the other entitled “What Missionaries Do.” We realized that for that photograph to “show up” in my wife’s class on that particular day was no coincidence. It was something only God could have orchestrated – and that photo was a desperately-needed confirmation from God, showing us that this was His will for our son and his wife.
While we still didn’t like to think about being so far away from Mark and Parker, we began to be more supportive and asked our church to pray for us as we struggled to let go. We attended the Appointment Service in Albuquerque, NM and proudly watched our son walk down the aisle, hand-in-hand with his radiant wife. There were more confirmations and assurances during our time there, and soon we were helping Mark and Parker in the process of packing the things for their crate. We had a very moving Service of Blessing for them at the church where I serve, and the entire church was proud that one from our church had been called as an international missionary. There was a lot of interest in exactly where Mark and Parker would be serving, so much so that I downloaded a map of Niger, circled the city of Ayorou, and put it on one of the doors of our Music Suite.
We were so caught up in the flurry of activity that the months passed by all-too-quickly. Soon it was time for Mark and Parker to go to Richmond, VA for a six-week training session. This was the longest time we had ever been separated from them and the reality of separation began to set in. It was during this time that God gave us another sign: a “messenger” who was at our church during the Red Cross Bloodmobile Drive. I was walking up the hall when I noticed one of the workers from the Red Cross looking intently at the map of Niger that I had posted on the door to the Music Suite. When I asked if I could help him, he said that he was interested in knowing why we had that map on the door. I explained that my son and his wife would soon be going to serve as missionaries there. “That’s wonderful!” he said. I learned that he was a native of Ghana and had been in North America about twelve years. He told me (and later, my wife) that he accepted Christ when he was ten years old – and that through the work of one missionary couple, most of the people in his village had become Christians and the gospel had spread throughout the nation and beyond. He said that the area to which Mark and Parker were going needed to hear the gospel. His words were almost prophetic: “God will do a great work through your son and his wife and will bless them. The people in that village will love them, respect them, and protect them.” We found out that this man’s grandfather was a Songhai – the people-group that populated the village of Ayorou. This “messenger” addressed every concern we had and kept reassuring us that God would take care of them. Sensing my reluctance, he said, “Sir, you must let them go and give them your blessing. You must let go with your heart.”
The probability of having a believer from Ghana with Songhai “roots” in the hallway of our small-town church at the precise moment when I would see him looking at the map was mind-boggling – and, again, something only God could have orchestrated. As we reflected on this divine appointment, we understood that God once again was providing confirmation and assurance for us.
Letting Go
Eventually the time came when we had to say “goodbye” at the airport. Watching Mark and Parker walk through the security check-point was the most difficult thing Janis and I have ever had to do, and the finality of it all seemed like more than we could bear. We were emotionally spent the rest of that day. However, the next morning both Janis and I experienced an unexpected peace and a very real sense of God’s presence that has been with us every day since they left.
We’ve learned a lot over the past couple of years – about a faithful God who gives assurance when we need it most; about understanding the importance of our role as “partners” with our children as they share the gospel; and about a peace that only God can give. We’ve learned to expand our myopic world view to see nations and peoples in desperate need of the gospel. And by responding to that need, we’ve learned that sometimes God calls us to “give of our sons to bear the message glorious.”
Don Phillips, June 07